Turkey, the centerpiece of every traditional Xmas meal, is disgusting. Face it, it tastes like a sick chicken that has been in the fridge too long - it's gross. Gamy, strong, rarely cooked properly, the only reason people continue to buy and eat this mutant bird is because Monsanto has been genetically modifying it for years, increasing the amount of highly addictive tryptophan that occurs in its meat. This not only causes otherwise tasteful gourmands to choose to purchase this overpriced avian freak-meat, but is responsible for over three quarters of all highway fatalities on Xmas evening. You see tryptophan is not only addictive but causes extreme drowsiness, leading to drivers falling asleep at the wheel when driving home from family Xmas dinners, killing themselves, all passengers and anyone else they may crash into. I'm not sure how this benefits Monsanto industries, they just sick fucks, I suppose.

I just barfed a little.

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