More Legal Entanglements and Litigations Pending

 After I had only slightly recovered from the previous adventures with my lawyer, he called me early the next morning.

  Dizzy and still smarting from my surgery, I made my way downtown to the shmate district and the legal offices of my attorney, "Double-Double" Medjuck once again. My wound, and the many staples and sutures holding it together, ached, and was still so raw I could not but even gingerly touch the side of my head.

Oh My Aching Head!

 When I arrived, my attorney was there, joined by his brother; the doctor, both seated on the far side, behind a giant oak desk. There was no time to waste getting right down to business. We were going to bring about litigation! This was a crime so heinous that it had incredible legal ramifications, would set new legal precedent and  go down throughout history, in the annals of litigation, here, to for, now, and forever afterwards.

  As my lawyer spoke, his brother, the good doctor, sat motionless and silent by his side, hands folded and eyes lowered. My legal council went on, "There can be no question, we must sue!" He brought his fist down to the table only to stop just short of touching it, "But..." he pauses..."Litigation, is expensive." He sort of shrugs his shoulders and looks back at his brother, the doctor.

My Medical & Legal Representation

 I'm confuse. My head's killing me. Like really, there's something seriously wrong with my melon, this hack doctor has opened up my brains and rattled them for good, we should totally sue (or "bring about litigation" to quote Medjuck) but even in my state of diminished acuity, I still can't help thinking..." Is it really such a good idea to have the person you plan on bringing suit against sit in with you on your consultation?" I look at the doctor and he has been staring at me the whole time. He's looking right through me, in fact, near boiling with rage.

"ENOUGH!" he explodes, interrupting the attorney and pounding his mighty fist into the furniture, shaking the  entire building. "Enough of this insignificance! Puny details! Trivialities! Just get to the heart of the matter, man!
Tell him!" fanning his hands at me and looking disgusted.

The Doctor Takes The Stand

 Medjuck, ever the professional, picks up as though on queue, and slithers right into mode, "As I was stating, litigation is a costly process, and for this we need capital. Funds, monies, currency, and/or any assets or luxury items you may posses at this time and could be easily converted into cash." He's smiling at me now. "I suppose you have insurance coverage? A policy you could cash in?" He's talking very sweetly to me now, licking his lips, "Maybe you could take out a mortgage on your house? Or a second mortgage? Possibly a third?"
"You see," he continues, almost graven with seriousness, "We simply cannot let the university get away with this appalling miscarriage of justice..."

Hallowed Halls of Learning

 Again the doctor gets excited and cuts in abruptly, "They LAUGHED at me at the Sorbonne! RIDICULED me in Vienna! They Scoffed at my theories at University Heidelberg! I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT! They must pay! THEY WILL PAY!"

"Don't Think You Won't Pay!"

  This doctor has really got issues, he's making me kind of uncomfortable, and what on earth does the university have to do with anything? He's looking at me in a very strange way. He extends his hand towards me and looks over at his brother, and legal council. "We shall bring thee specimen to the university and show it to them!" He's pointing at me like I'm a rat in a cage. "Here is the proof of my genius, we take him and bring litigation against the university for the defamation they perpetrated against my peerless reputation. When we present the specimen (again, pointing at me) of my neuro-surgical artistry, they will crumble at my feet and grovel as I ascend to my throne of honor and immortality where I rightfully belong."

"An Impassioned Speech"

   All three of us are silent for a few moments, it really was a pretty impassioned speech, and my attorney, Medjuck is staring into the middle-distance, cribbing mental notes for later. Then, just as quickly, he's right back to the pressing matters at hand; funding. He's got papers already drawn up and contracts ready for me to sign. It's no bother at all, really, and I should be honored to be part of such an historic legal proceeding, so I hand over the keys to my mortgage, sign over my insurance coverage to the doctor, and enjoy the luxury of the rarefied air that surrounds such titans of their respective industries. And enjoy it while I could, I did, because all too soon, I was being hastily shown the exit, my attorney growling into my ear as he strong-armed me towards the door, "Make sure you show up to the university tomorrow at 8 am, sharp, if you know what's good for you." and just as I was about to ask him if I should wear a suit and tie, he slammed the door in my face, our meeting over. From behind the closed door, I could hear the lock bolting shut, then laughter, so obviously, things were going pretty well with my legal/medical team on the home front, so I tried to remember my way home, and hobbled with confidence and (what's left) of my mind put at ease, Lady Justice herself as my guide.

My Mind at Ease, Justice as My Guide.

"A truly wealthy man has both a doctor on call and an attorney on retainer" - Quote; Unknown.


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