Now the show is happening and I’ve completely retreated into
daydreaming as a result of its dissolute monotony. I keep dreaming of all the
colleges and PhD programs I could be attending in efforts to gain my university
doctorate that would make me a fully qualified criminal lawyer and I could
spring myself from this joint once and for all. The plot of the
insipid Austin
DWI episode was thickening up into a somewhat congealed form; of course it began
with an unrelated character, usually the guest star, and he would be involved
in the sort of traffic accident that would lead to the immediate need of the
services of a car accident attorney. Then, Lo and Behold, There’s Austin DWI,
who just happens to be strolling by, enjoying ice cream cones with some fair
lassie on his arm. In a flash he’s all business, and he’s right there on the
scene, handing out his business card etc.
|
Austin DWI Making the Scene. |
Tonight’s episode had the guest star/client be a bit of a “comic-relief”
with this little old man who played as a drunk with a goofy 2-step and a
crumpled hat. Turns out he’s an eccentric millionaire and he won’t stop driving
while impaired and is constantly getting into hilarious fender benders. But it’s
different now, see; he has good reason for driving like a maniac all over the
sidewalk and everything. Tonight he reveals, all in a dramatic close up of his
face, saying urgently to the camera “My Wife has been Kidnapped!!!
|
Dramatic Turn of Events |
Just as the old geezer guest star said those five words I
finally remembered where I had seen that actor before! “Holy Shit!” I blurt
out, “That’s
Gus The Fireman!”
It was said absent minded, yet came out just a split second before
what the old croaker said, and obscured his lines all together. This interruption was perceived as being so rude that the
entire audience of criminals all immediately started bashing me and throwing
garbage at me, screeching promises to do me great personal injury later
if I didn’t Shut The Fuck Up! And I thought I might be killed right there and
then if the TV broadcast didn’t mercifully cut away just at that moment for commercial
messages from our sponsors. A few of the harder cons continued glaring at me angrily, but the generally murderous
atmosphere gradually dissipated while on the TV insurance ads prattled on about coverage in
event of wrongful death.
|
A Minor Riot Ensued. |
Sitting penitent I realized that there was one Absolute Law in this cell-block. It was the Unbreakable as well as Unspoken
Rule; No Talking During Austin DWI! Sitting a row over I noticed Fox
looking back at me. I felt he had been watching me the whole time and
that he could read my mind and see my thought processes. Stern at first,
he nodded at me in a sort of approval, as though in a rite of passage I had taken my beating and grown from the experience .
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