CONFEDERATES; or CRIMINAL LAWYERS?

  Now that everybody had finally settled down, and the show was about to begin in earnest, the rabble decided to take it down a notch, just under a dull roar; then the sweet nut… the beginning of the program could start…

Fast-Paced Car-Action

   The “car accident lawyer” show begins as usual again with the titular DWI lawyer and Houston Criminal Attorney (Texas no less!) rushing to the scene of the crime only to be blind-sided by another more important and pressing conclusion of events that could only lead to an one hour episode every week for 7 years. It’s like the characters lived in some sort of “Fairy Land” where nothing ever changed and logic followed a very narrow and limited path.In the Universe that Austin DWI existed in, no one ever had to be accountable to the laws of nature, and things always turned out the same. I suppose it was comforting for some to watch this type of narrative, most likely the advertisers who bankrolled the thing, but frankly, just sitting there, with the heat turned up and the big dinner I just ate, it was starting to put me to sleep!

"Unbelievable Luck!"

   No one, and I mean Nobody, in my present company, glommed onto the concept of how actually tedious this show was. Zero. But, get this…They all seemed to embrace the lead character, in fact they all loved the lead character, a Houston criminal attorney. They tried to emulate his mannerisms, and boasted of his peccadilloes as thought they were their own. Austin DWI, who was sort of a cheap knock-off of Magnum PI but shittier, this car accident and personal injury lawyer. This cheap TV version of a shyster ambulance chaser was an Heroic Figure amongst these cons and other animals I shared residencies with. Yet at the same time, every single one of these criminals, The Austin DWI fan club of cell-block K, swore their undying hatred and had nothing but contempt for lawyers of any stripe. It was a peculiar duality to witness, and I surmised that it possibly, in some degree, was an effect of the criminal experimentation meted out by The Doctor and his henchman; Wrongful Death Rowan.

Typical "Animal"

   Smiling Jack was not ignorant to these proceedings. I saw the back of his neck turn red and the muscles in his scalp tightened visibly. He was aware of his surroundings yet seemed to simultaneously be floating a million miles away. In his mind he was taking stock of his self. In his mind's eye he saw himself as a beneficent leader amongst the cons, always fair, proactive, who acted not only accordingly, but also preventative, through harm reduction, and by being a mentor, like he was with those involved in the big Accutane class action lawsuits that slipped through his fingers and went right down the drain with the last shreds of his legal career. The shame of his failures seemed to compress themselves inward upon his entire stature, reflecting the frustrations and failures of his life into one concentrated silent scream, stifled forever within some eternal jail-house experience.

The "Old School Ties"

 It didn’t matter because the jail-birds weren’t paying any attention to him anyways. Also I was having a VERY hard time focusing on the car accident lawyer show because it was so BORING! 

But don't take my word for it, here is only the beginning...