It is no secret that the Xmas season brings increased travel as well as household activity. The roads and airports are packed with last-minute travelers scrambling to make it home for the holidays, and everyone at home is rushing to complete about a million different tasks needed to make the season bright etc. So it is inevitable that accidents happen. Its dark, and the weather is shitty, so you risk life and limb every time you venture forth, and if you decide to hedge your bets and stay in...well there are no end of household hazards to contend with. If you aren't being permanently disabled in a car wreck or railway disaster, then you are being burned alive thanks to faulty Xmas tree wiring, or rushing to the emergency room at the hospital because you accidentally gouged your eye out trying to make a pop-corn string, or you are poisoned from mistakenly eating the deadly toxic holly berry or worse mistletoe (causes permanent nerve damage resulting in death) Long story short - Xmas is deadlier than cancer. If you wish to avoid grievous bodily harm and serious personal injury I suggest you stay in bed until at least January 2nd. If not, make sure you have an iron-clad insurance policy covering household liability and death, as well as a reputable personal injury lawyer to save you from all the lawsuits that will come your way from those near and dear to you who aren't so near and dear now that they have 3rd degree burns over 45% of their bodies, loss of limbs, and permanent crippling brain damage. It is the season of giving, so remember to give generously to a) your personal liability insurance broker, and b) a good lawyer who specializes in personal injury litigation. Remember, Xmas can be the most unforgiving, injurious and deadly time of year, proceed with caution!
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| All I Want for Christmas is...MY LEGS!!!! |
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SPEAK, FOOL!